Thoughts on Change

By now I hope we all understand that it’s beneficial for our mental health that we express our feelings and thoughts, however intense they may be. We all need some kind of healthy outlet to blow off steam.

I’m trying something new by starting these ‘Diary Entries’. A diary is a personal form of journaling where you can express your thoughts and feelings. It’s always been a kind of therapy for me.

Here I want to explore different ideas that pop into my head and just work through them. They may not be polished thoughts but enough so that perhaps you may relate to them, be opposed to them, or just be able to see how I’m navigating through this world from my perspective.

So to begin…

If you would have talked to me 10 years ago and asked me “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” I probably would have BS’d about something you wanted to hear in an attempt to look like a well put together high schooler, but on the inside, I had no clue. And I don’t think I should have. Who knows what they will do in the future at 15.

I had a bubble of general interests and kind of guessed that they would be my future, but I don’t think getting an interest in Korean culture and worldly travel was anywhere in or around that bubble. It was off in the stratosphere.

I remember watching Jay Shetty on Instagram one time and he mentioned this quote from Heraclitus “Change is the only constant in life”. I’m not really one for quick Instagram quotable moments, but in relation to what Jay Shetty was talking about, it did make sense. He was discussing meditation, anxiety and how when we accept this notion about Change and the fluidity of life we can begin to let go and truly appreciate the journey.

Something like that.

But it got me thinking.

Change happens throughout our lives and sometimes it can be very hard to accept depending on what about you changes. You get used to who you are and your friends get used to how you exist in life.

Then something changes.

Perhaps your friends accept you for this change, and they actually like you more, perhaps they grow distant because you’re just too different now.

I remember watching a Q+A video by Michelle Phan on YouTube years back and one particular piece of advice stuck with me and I remember it to this day. She said:

“Friends are part of life, friends are not life”

Now I know some people are going to disagree with me and there are some exceptions to the rule. (I’ve known a friend for 18 years and we can still tell each other anything) but overall, it’s kind of true. You will lose and gain friends all throughout the different stages of your life.

I know it can be sad to stop contact with someone who you knew during a certain era but life happens and things change.

Perhaps they get married, maybe they move to a different country, they might have kids. Their priorities and lens on life changes due to their new circumstances and maybe you just don’t fit into that any more.

But that’s fine. Because something about you has probably changed too.

It doesn’t mean your relationship doesn’t matter anymore, they were your companion throughout a certain era of your life and that was wonderful. You just have different priorities now and need different people to walk with you through this new era.

Plus it’s not like you’re severing a limb, there’s social media these days and a million other ways to periodically check in on people to see how their life is going, but you don’t need to cling on. You can let them go and give yourself permission to change and grow into this different version of yourself.

Change is going to happen. You need to change to adapt to the new challenges you will face in life. So instead of fighting it, I think it’s easier to accept it. I think in the long run it’s a lot more liberating.

I’m not saying it’s easy and it can be a little unsettling. But if you don’t grow and change as a person, how will you be able to take advantage of and rise to the challenge of everything you have now?

So perhaps Change is the only constant in life, or one of them. We are constantly evolving, growing and facing new challenges every day, every month and every year. We are bound to change, we have to change, which may mean we have to leave and collect a few different people along the way.

I think it gets easier, I hope it does. Just look forward to the person who you’re changing into, the person who can accomplish all those things you wished you could in the past, the person who can keep up, the person who is confident enough to take risks that would have made your younger self paralysed with nerves.

When I think about that, I’m actually kind of glad I changed and I’m intrigued to see what comes next.

How about you?

Good luck out there

Jess x