It has been a while since I have sat down and even thought about writing anything.
The inner perfectionist in me is panicking, wanting to write a literary masterpiece with witty lines which seamlessly weave a commentary on society, with my personal journey, but the more self-compassionate side of myself knows that level of creativity only comes with practise, which I am low on these days. So just write something and improve as you go on.
What has happened over the last 5 years?
I believe the last time I blogged something was between 4 and 5 years ago and a lot has happened.
We came out of the Pandemic, and I left my Teacher Assistant job. Despite meeting lovely people at that school for the most part, I was being managed by a lead teacher who was childishly mean to those who were more competent than him, so I decided to change the direction of my career. I enrolled on an employability programme aimed at upskilling young people to enter or re-enter the creative, digital and/or tech industries.
This employability programme essentially helped people get into/get back into work and throughout the programme, participants (myself) worked on a brief set by a company, which gave us the opportunity to learn and upskill in the theme of the brief (ours was UX) whilst strengthening key skills needed for the world of work. The programme was a success, and I successfully landed a place at the company we had partnered with.
I am very grateful to that employability company who provide such useful and holistic services but the path after that, whilst I did meet some lovely people these past 2-3 years and grew some important career skills, this wasn’t the personal right direction for me.
This is where you find me. At a crux in my journey, at a fork in the road wanting to take a different path.
The saving grace in all of this is a community for women, by women called the Fierce Females Club. I found this community at a time when I was lost and uncertain about where I would go in the future and if I even knew the right decision to make. I have met many like-minded women within this community, taken coaching classes from them and even within the community, found my Sage, my Guide through this transitional period in my life, from one path to another. I have desperately needed all of their help, guidance and inspiration during this time in my life and I will be, and am, forever grateful for them.
Where are we now?
So here I am, at 30 years old. ‘We made it Joe!’
When you reach the ages you put on a pedestal when you were young, it doesn’t feel as grand as you made it out to be. I don’t feel 30 or some grand notion of what I thought 30 was. I know myself a little better and I’ve found myself speaking with more assertion when I wouldn’t have before but I’m still figuring it all out and there are a lot of days when I feel I know nothing. I think this is life by design though. There will always be something new as we keep changing and evolving, and with that comes new sets of challenges, new things to learn and grow into. It just keeps going…
I’m definitely feeling a drop in energy however. (The early 20’s energy is no joke. Savour it whilst you can) so early bedtimes are the norm. I found myself researching into wellness greens powders and mushroom coffee, just to keep up with my life. These genuinely work though, as I do feel an improvement in my vitality and energy so will be using these for the foreseeable.
I came across a word a couple months ago and it really resonated with me and spoke to what I want to achieve at this stage in life. It is the term Phoenixing.
My personal interpretation of the word Phoenixing is: wherever you are in life, some part of it has died a death, collapsed into ashes on the ground and is ready to be reborn into something different, hopefully better and more fruitful.
I have reached a point in life where some things need an overhaul, a restart, a rebirth. I feel I have strayed from my path which has resulted in an unfulfilled life, lower self-worth and self-confidence and there is something in me NEEDING to align back to what gives me purpose.
I want better for myself and I know it is out there and achievable as I got close when I was living and teaching in South Korea.
It seems fate has aligned from many angles and is the reason why Phoenixing and rebirth seems possible now and why it resonates so heavily:
- I recently turned 30 (which is proving to be more of a milestone age than I thought)…
- I want to change trajectory in life…
- I need to address my self-perception/self-confidence which has unfortunately dropped in recent years…
- I am being coached by empowered women who allow my ideas to flourish…
All of this has converged at the same time making me want to go in a new direction, towards something that aligns with my version of a purposeful life and towards something that brings me happiness.
I have a general idea of the area I want to explore and the direction I want to head towards and I know my ‘why?’ but I don’t know specifically what path I will go down, however, I’m ready to return to something more purposeful and meaningful to me.
The Mind Library 
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